The Chocobo Chronicles
by Clawson
Summary: Cid and Cloud have a new obession, and it's not a very normal one! (No, I don't own any of the charcthers)
1. The Start of An Obession

1 The Start of A Obsession  
  
Cloud, and Cid sat around all day in their house, and did nothing. This happened for a couple of years after Sephiroth's defeat, and they never complained, until one fateful day that would confuse all of Final Fantasy forever. Why did they do it? What caused this sudden change? And why the hell did these two tough guys decide to breed chocobos? I guess we will all have to find out. *Sighs*  
  
"I want to do something with my life," Cloud sighed in the early morning.  
  
"Me too," Cid said as he watched the chocobos play in the field, "let's breed chocobos!"  
  
"That is a great idea," Cloud exclaimed, "let's go catch a couple!"  
  
"Wait," Cid stopped Cloud, "we need to turn the barn into a stable."  
  
Oh right," Cloud muttered, and for the first time in two years they actually did something. Converting the old barn into a stable wasn't easy nor was it hard for the two war heroes, but it still took the whole day, and all the chocobos went to sleep.  
  
"%$#%," Cid groaned, "They went to sleep!"  
  
"Oh well," Cloud yawned, "we'll catch them tomorrow, just go to bed now." Cloud set the alarm for 8 am, and they went to sleep.  
  
***  
  
The alarm went off, and Cid went crazy, "Where the %$#% is the bomb," he yelled wildly grabbing his spear.  
  
"It's the alarm idiot," Cloud groaned, "let's catch a couple of chocobos."  
  
"One male, one female right," Cid asked.  
  
"Yep," Cloud said, as they walked outside to catch a couple. Now, the field to catch the chocobos was a good ten-minute walk, and when they arrived they checked out the best candidates.  
  
"I found the male, Cid," Cloud yelled, "now you get the female!" Cid muttered a curse under his breath, and went to find the female chocobo.  
  
"Damn, I don't have time to make sure it's a female. I'll just check it, and make sure it is," Cid muttered to himself, and started chasing a chocobo around, as Cloud watched laughing at Cid. Cid finally caught it after 10 minutes, and felt underneath to make sure it was a girl.  
  
Cloud saw Cid's face go white, and he called out, "What's the matter, Cid?"  
  
"It's a %$#%@&# male," Cid howled, as Cloud laughed harder. Cid caught a female, and he, and Cloud headed back.  
  
"We need to get some vegetables, and breeding nuts to make them strong, and able to breed," Cloud said, "we'll get them tomorrow."  
  
"Ok, and don't set the %$#%@&# alarm," Cid growled.  
  
Remembering yesterday, Cloud could only say, "Fine."  
  
***  
  
Cloud, and Cid headed out to the general store as soon as they both woke up in the morning. The general store was a five-minute walk, and Cid was very sore from the past two days, and cursed the whole way there.  
  
"Hello gentleman," the clerk greeted them, "what can I get you?"  
  
"Chocobo supplies," Cloud said giving him money, and the clerk gave him the bag, and change.  
  
"Let's go breed some %$#%@&# chocobos," Cid growled, as they walked back home, and to breed some chocobos. 


	2. Colourful Chocobos

1 Colourful Chocobos  
  
Cloud, and Cid were very enthusiastic about their two new chocobos, but they still didn't know what to call their chocobos. Cid, and Cloud had two very nice chocobos, they were yellow, and had silky hair. The name issue was talked about all day until Cid had an idea, a crazy idea that I still don't know what the hell he was thinking!  
  
"They'll be called 'Daisy', and 'Peach'," Cid said triumphant with his naming abilities until Cloud rained on his parade.  
  
"We have a %$#%@&# male," Cloud yelled.  
  
"Okay, then they'll be called 'Daisy', and 'Fluffy'," Cid announced, and Cloud gave a sigh.  
  
"Just call the guy 'Bruno' or something," Cloud moaned.  
  
"Okay, that sounds cool," Cid said skipping towards the chocobo stables leaving Cloud wondering what the hell happened to the old Cid. Cloud picked up 'A Guide to Chocobos', and starting reading how to breed them. The book was easy to understand, but it was the part about different colour chocobos that made Cloud's head bobble: "To breed a blue, or green chocobo catch two yellow chocobos, and raise them up to 'A' class then feed them a 'Zeio nut'!" Cloud is very confused, and reads the next bit: "To breed a black chocobo, catch another yellow one then raise it up to 'A' class, mate it with a green or blue then feed them a Zeio nut!" Cloud blinks dumbly, and the page then continued to read: "To get the famous gold chocobo, breed a black chocobo with a freshly caught yellow one, then feed them a Carob nut! Congratulations you now own a gold chocobo!"  
  
"What the hell is this supposed to mean," Cloud murmured to himself, "better go get Cid." Cloud headed over to the stable just in time to see Cid singing a lullaby to Daisy!  
  
"Rock me gentle, rock me slow," Cid sung terribly off tune, and Cloud decided enough was enough.  
  
"Cid," Cloud yelled breaking up the off-key singing, "what does mean?"  
  
"Well chap," Cid said with an English accent causing Cloud to slap him, "%$#% that hurt, and I think it means that to get a colourful chocobo you have to do some things. To the Cidmobile!" Cid ran out of the stable leaving Cloud dazed.  
  
"Uh, Cid," Cloud said tapping Cid as he searched for the 'Cidcave', "don't you mean the 'Highwind'?"  
  
"Oh, yes that is correct," Cid said as he climbed up the ladder of the Highwind and back into his pilot seat. Cloud sat down at the navigation controls, and began to sing:  
  
"Whistle while you work," Cloud began, but Cid interrupted.  
  
"What the %$#% are you singing," Cid asked.  
  
"I didn't %$#%@&# complain when you were singing," Cloud yelled.  
  
"You %$#%@&# did &%#$@," Cid roared back.  
  
"Let's stop fighting," Cloud said, "and be friends."  
  
"Okay," Cid says, and he, and Cloud start singing 'I Love You' song from Barney, and out of the blue Barrett comes running in shooting his gunarm.  
  
"Where the %$#% did you come from," Cid yelled surprised to see their old comrade in the Highwind!  
  
"I blew up another reactor," Barrett said scared, "then the big scary Shinra guards came, so I hid here. Then, I heard that Barney song, and it scared me!"  
  
"It's okay Barry," Cloud comforted Barrett surprised at how soft the tough guys went, "I'm here for you."  
  
"Thanks Unkie Cloud," Barrett said, and Cid dropped his cigar in surprise.  
  
"What the %$#%," Cid asked surprised, "Unkie Cloud?" At that moment the Highwind landed with a thud in front of North Corel.  
  
"Off, to the Golden Saucer we go," Cid sang as they headed towards North Corel leaving Barrett hiding in the Highwind, "to breed a colourful chocobo!" Cloud gave Cid a sharp slap on the back of Cid's head.  
  
"What the %$#% was that for," Cid asked, and Cloud smiled.  
  
"That's better," Cloud said as they entered North Corel. 


	3. A Day at the Races

1 A Day at the Races  
  
Cid, and Cloud entered North Corel. They got their usually glare from the people as they headed towards the Golden Saucer, and to try to level up their chocobos.  
  
"%$#%, we forgot the chocobos," Cid groaned, and they ran back to the Highwind to get the chocobos. As they entered North Corel again all the residents came and pet all the chocobos.  
  
"Now, they %$#%&@# greet us," Cid whispered to Cloud, as all the people mobbed the chocobos.  
  
"Sorry folks we have to race these chocobos," Cloud said, and all the people gave him stares. Thinking quickly he said, "and we're going to donate our money to North Corel!" All the people cheered, as Cid gave Cloud an evil look.  
  
"Why the %$#% did you do that," Cid asked Cloud furiously.  
  
"So, we could ditch them," Cloud said, "don't worry I'll just give them half!" Cid relaxed as they entered the Aircar, and headed to the Golden Saucer. As they arrived, Cloud took out his Gold Pass, and showed it to the Guard. Cloud, and Cid hopped into the Chocobo circle, and appeared there.  
  
"I still get the willies every time we go though there," Cid said shaking, "now can we go raise our chocobo's ranks up?" Cloud nodded, and they walked up the stairs. Once they got in there all the people were staring at the race board like zombies, and cheering their heads off for their chocobo number. Cloud walked around, and eventually found Estel.  
  
"Hey," Cloud said as he walked up to her, "can I register my chocobos?"  
  
"Chocobos," Estel asked unsure of what was going on.  
  
"Ya, my friend here will be racing the other one," Cloud said pointing a Cid.  
  
"Bonjour Madam, je suis Cid," Cid said speaking French confusing Cloud, "et je aime les chocobos!" Cloud whacked him on the head, and Cid snapped back to normal.  
  
"Err, right," Estel said giving them weird looks, "I'll register them." Estel went, and registered Bruno, and Daisy.  
  
'I wanna ride Bruno," Cid yelled as he jumped on Bruno, but Bruno ran forward, and crashed Cid though the wall.  
  
"Are you sure," Cloud asked looking though the wall.  
  
"No, you ride him," Cid groaned picking himself off the ground, "that really hurt!"  
  
"No shit Sherlock," Cloud muttered, "you just got sent though a wall head first!" Cid sighed, and slowly went onto Daisy.  
  
"Good girl," Cid muttered trying to keep his balance on Daisy, and trying to lead her to the starting gates at the same time. He eventually got her into the starting gate, and Cloud smiled at him. The gun went off, and all the chocobos started racing, and Cid seemed to have a hard time getting Daisy to run. Cloud laughed, and Bruno charged to the lead. Eventually Cid got Daisy under control, and he found out that she was a very fast. Cid raced her up to Cloud right near the finish line, and they cam in first, and second! Cloud, and Cid exchanged their tickets for GP, and raced Daisy, and Bruno two more times. Daisy won them both, and Bruno came in second both times.  
  
"Hey guys," Estel said as they were about to register again, "you're chocobos went up to class B!"  
  
"Cool, how long until they become class A," Cloud asked.  
  
"You need to come in first of second three more times," Estel said.  
  
"Damn, we have to %$#%&@$ race again," Cid muttered annoyed, as they walked back into the jockey room. They raced three more times, and surprise, Daisy came in first, and Bruno second every time! Cloud, and Cid celebrated as their chocobos rose up to class A.  
  
"Yes let's get to the Highwind," Cid pumped his fist, and Cloud nodded. They headed back though North Corel, and the people forgot about the money (or Cid, and Cloud ran out so fast, nobody noticed they came back!). They headed back to their house, and breed the two chocobos with a Zeio Nut, and waited until the morning. 


	4. Cid Junior

1 A/N: I'm not sure if they way I wrote down was the correct way to raise chocobos, so if any body knows for sure can you tell me!  
  
2 Cid Junior  
  
2.1 Cloud, and Cid woke up that morning hoping that they will have a blue or green chocobo. Cid made breakfast before they went to check out what colour the baby chocobo is. They headed towards the chocobo stable, and Cloud threw the door open, and hit Cid in the face.  
  
"%$#%, man that hurt," Cid groaned, "and what %$#%$#@ colour is it?"  
  
"Blue," Cloud said trying not to laugh at Cid, "so what should we call it?"  
  
"No %$#%#@% idea, you," Cid asked still rubbing his head.  
  
"I don't know," Cloud said thinking, "Blue Bird?"  
  
"Are you high Cloud," Cid asked laughing.  
  
"$#%$," said a different voice.  
  
"That doesn't answer my %$#$#$@# question, Cloud," Cid said shaking his head.  
  
"I don't say that," Cloud said confused.  
  
"Then you did," Cid said spooked.  
  
"$#%#, %$##%, Kewh!!!!" the voice said again. Cloud, and Cid turned to look at their new chocobo with shocked expressions.  
  
"Cid Junior is his name," Cloud said smiling at his own genius.  
  
"Fine with me," Cid squeaked, "let's go eat something!"  
  
"We just did, but okay," Cloud said as they went back to their house.  
  
A/N: Sorry it's so damn short, but this is just a little part of the story. I'll write this story until they have breed a golden chocobo. Thanks! 


	5. Tifa

1 Tifa  
  
After the birth of Cid Junior, nothing eventful happened for Cloud or Cid. They raced their chocobos every day with Cid taking a preference to Junior. After a hard day of racing, they arrived home to find a friend waiting for them.  
  
"Hey guys," Tifa said jumping off the steps to greet Cloud, and Cid.  
  
"Tifa," Cloud said smiling, "how are you?"  
  
"Yah, you're looking good," Cid said staring at Tifa's boobs.  
  
"Perv," Tifa said slapping Cid across the face," and I'm good thanks for asking Cloud. So what have you guys been up to?"  
  
"Chocobos," Cloud said heading up the steps, "wanna come in?"  
  
"Sure," Tifa said following Cloud up the steps, "and what do you mean by chocobos?"  
  
"Raising, and racing," Cid sighed, "Hey wanna have a race?" Cloud smiled at Cid, knowing what his friend was thinking of.  
  
"Yah, sure," Tifa said standing up," where are the chocobos?" Cloud, and Cid lead the way to the chocobo stable, and showed Tifa the map.  
  
"Here's the path," Cid said, "You start from the stable, and head towards the lake. You run across the beach all the way around the lake then you head back to the stable. Clear?"  
  
"Clear," Tifa said, "so which one do I get to ride?"  
  
"You can ride Daisy, our female chocobo," Cloud said saddling up the chocobos, "I'll ride Bruno, and Cid will take Cid Junior."  
  
"%$#%," Cid Junior said, and Tifa looked surprised.  
  
"You really gotta watch your mouth," Tifa said laughing, or your other chocobos might pick that up!" Cid just frowned, and they jumped up onto their chocobos then raced. Cid started in the lead after the first 100m, but Daisy (Tifa)'s speed changed that as she ran ahead of Cid taking the lead as they headed towards the lake. As Tifa gained speed though the lake, she looked back, and caused Cid to faint, which caused Cloud to make a sharp turn, which made Cloud crash into a tree. Tifa looked back one more time and chuckled at them, but crashed into a tree herself.  
  
"Well," Cid groaned as they all arrived back at the stable, "who won?"  
  
"Nobody," Cloud moaned, "we all crashed!"  
  
"Ya," Tifa said laughing, "that was pretty bad. Well, I got to go! See ya later!" Cloud, and Cid waved bye, and wondered why Cid crashed.  
  
"Cid," Cloud whispered, "way did you crash? I would have caught up with her!"  
  
"White t-shirt," Cid smiled, "how ever do I love white t-shirts!"  
  
"Oh," Cloud groaned, "well leave Bruno, and Daisy a Zeio nut."  
  
"Fine," Cid said getting up," I'm tired. I'm going to bed!"  
  
"Good night," Cloud said also getting up, "I'll be in shortly."  
  
"K, see ya," Cid yelled as he went inside, and Cloud sat there thinking for a while. Around midnight he finally head inside. 


	6. Sex?

A/N: Another short chapter. The next one will be longer. This one is, yet again a chocobo naming chapter. I will have 1 to 4 more of these, and 3-5 more chapters.  
  
Sex?  
  
That night, Cloud and Cid decided to have a talk about what they should name their new chocobo.  
  
"How many more %$#%$# chocobos, do we have to name," Cid moaned asking Cloud.  
  
"3 or 4," Cloud said also staring his brain for ideas, but what the hell to name them all?"  
  
"Well shouldn't we see what sex it is," Cid groaned, "let's see in the morning. I'm to %$#%$% tired to do it now."  
  
"Fine," Cloud said as he too dragged himself to bed. The next morning they were both as fresh as a daisy.  
  
"Well, should we see what sex it is," Cid asked as they walked towards the stable. They opened up the barn door, and they went to check out their new baby chocobo. They were happy to see that the chocobo was green, but what sex?  
  
"Are you going to check which sex it is," Cloud asked, waiting for Cid to do something.  
  
"Okay," Cid said walking up to the chocobo, "if it's a male, I'm gonna curse so much it will scare Junior!" Cid looked underneath the new chocobo, and gave Cloud the thumbs up to signal that it was girl. Cloud nodded, and thought of a name.  
  
"What name," Cloud asked puzzling over what always seems to plague them.  
  
"Well how about Tulip," Cid said smelling a flower.  
  
"Sounds good," Cloud muttered, "I guess tomorrow we have to go to the Golden Saucer!" 


End file.
